This New Statesman piece by Caroline Criado-Perez highlights some of the ambivalence that many had towards the hashtag - some welcoming it as a show of solidarity in a week where there was a whole fucking shitload of rape apologia going on, some bemoaning it as, variously:
- Obvious, as it is the 'default position' - ha ha, no-one actually supports or defends rape, right? RIGHT? Nope!
- Undermining of 'real' rape - well, I can tweet to that because I'm definitely against rape-rape. You know, the kind of rape I define on my terms. Yep, can defo get behind that.
- Making it ALL ABOUT THE MENZ - feminism needs us, man! They can't do it without us!
The NS piece chiefly discusses that last point - and I will get to that in another post for the sake of everyone's sanity - but I want to discuss the first two...er, first, because while I think there are nuanced arguments to be made about point three, for my money the most important aspect of this discussion is the first.
No-one actually supports or defends rape, right?
Of the innumerable tear-your-eyelashes-out-with-rage conversations I have had in pubs in or around the subject of feminism, this old chestnut gets hoarked out at almost every given opportunity. The default position is that every decent human being* automatically rejects rape, in the same way that they would reject murder, genocide, child abuse and other heinous crimes, and self-righteous flabbergastation follows when one deigns to suggest otherwise. But you know what? I don't fucking buy it. Whether or not you believe we live in a rape culture (full disclosure: I do, and I think those two posts absolutely fucking NAIL why, and how) it doesn't take long to remember that conversation you've had with someone, possibly one of your mates, where the phrase, "she was asking for it" was used. Or when you were at work and someone told a rape joke. Or when someone you know uses a term like "grey rape", "rape-rape", "real rape". Maybe you've used those terms too, or told one of those jokes, or defended a footballer or friend or public figure with some variation on the but she was asking for it line. I probably have too - as Billy Wilder once wrote, nobody's perfect, and no-one likes (to be) the humourless feminist, right lads?
My point is that saying things like that doesn't make you a rapist. Raping people makes you a rapist. But it sure as fuck doesn't pitch you against rape. If you are using the she was asking for it line, in a conversation about rape, then you are defending rape. If you are qualifying terms, such as "rape-rape", then you are supporting rape, because in effect what you are saying is that only some rapes count as rape. In fact what we do in culture and society is defend and support rape all the goddamned time - when we use the term 'sex-scandal' when reporting on a rape case, when we can't believe that someone whose work we admire and like is a rapist, when we, over and over and FUCKING OVER again, blame victims for their own assaults. This is not a society which is against rape. So the argument that we don't need to state we are against something because it is axiomatically true for all humans? All that is is bullshit - comforting bullshit, but bullshit nonetheless.
Rape-Rape, or Where do you Stand on the Rape Apologist's Sliding Scale of Bullshit?
Ah, rape-rape. Helpfully coined by Whoopi Goldberg (you broke my heart there, Whoopi), during a discussion about Polanski, the idea behind this is that some rapes are worse than others. I believe the logic goes something like: the crime of rape exists on a scale which has, for example, waking up to find a current sexual partner's penis inside you at one end, and a violent attack which leaves victims badly physically hurt or even dead at the other. The implication is that events that happen near one end are not as serious as events that happen at the other. On the face of it, this is difficult to dispute - most people would agree that ending up dead is a worse outcome than not ending up dead (euthanasia notwithstanding).
But it isn't really as simple as that. The truth is that every crime is different, and of course there will be some instances of, say, robbery, which end in violent death, and some which end in losing a tenner. The actual point is that the shared element is the crime element. Rape is a crime, we have laws to say so and define it, and sentencing guidlines which take into account the 'severity' of the crime. That is to say, rape is a crime and anything on that scale is rape. It doesn't actually matter if you think one example is 'worse' than another - it is all rape. Its position on the scale does nothing to legitimise it either way - it is rape. The scale also isn't exactly kind to victims, as it implies that there is a kind of Pain Olympics going on with rape - which is just? Fucking gross and wrong. If you have been raped, any feeling you have is legitimate (including not being affected).
So that's the issue I have with the idea that a hashtag, which is throwaway and perhaps lacking gravitas, somehow undermines 'real' rape. Because if you've been raped? I think that makes it very fucking real.
Solidarity Does Not Undermine You
To conclude, the point of my tirade here is that I support men tweeting to the #menagainstrape hashtag, because I do see it as a massive show of solidarity. Both of those words are important. The solidarity goes without saying - because for men** to recognise that there is a problem, with rape apologia and with rape itself, is a huge show of recognition to the victims of rape. It is saying, we believe you. It is saying, we call this shit out. It is saying, this shit is fucking disgusting. I am unapologetically ALL FOR THAT. And the second word is important precisely because of it being a show - it is visible. Making your solidarity visible is hugely important, because it means people can see who their allies are. And you know what happens when you ally yourself to something else? It makes you stronger, not the opposite. #menagainstrape, your solidarity does not undermine you.
* However the bejesus we define that.
** I know there are a whole bunch of people who will point out - quite rightly - that men are not the only gender which perpetrates sexual assault. But as you can see from the links underneath the Wiki entry (more reliable than Wikipedia itself, for obvious reasons), they are in the overwhelming majority of assailants - as high as 99% in some social data surveys.
No comments:
Post a Comment